her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
