dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
