I accidentally burped into my bong.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
