He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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