i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
