I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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