about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
