I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
