The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
