Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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