some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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