How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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