Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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