Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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