He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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