I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
