Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
farters have to be the big spoon...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Oh god it's open bar.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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