Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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