O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
