My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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