Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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