I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
