OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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