Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
