is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
