you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
