She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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