So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my being single is dangerous.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
