so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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