literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Houston, we have a blender
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize