i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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