She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
