New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
