He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize