Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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