Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize