I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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