Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
