My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize