This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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