so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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