this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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