i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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