I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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