I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
