I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize