Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
