Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
