If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is wine microwaveable?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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