We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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