New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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