im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
