so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
