I could have mohawked her pubes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
