You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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