"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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