I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
