you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
