Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize