is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
