Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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