She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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