Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
