All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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