I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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