i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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