I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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