Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize