That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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