I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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