I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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