It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
