it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
