She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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