Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
